One of the first things many parents do when they have children is to create a list of babysitters. It’s always a good idea to have a few handy in case a fun, kid-free opportunity pops up. Sometimes, though, things will pop up when all the sitters are busy. What do you do then?
A man posted in Reddit’s AITA forum to dish on a situation with his sister and why he thinks she’s being unfair. The original poster babysat for his sister’s kids for years, and now that he has a baby, he wants her to return the favor, even though she is nine months pregnant with her fifth child. Is this the time to ask her to do him a solid?
OP always took care of his sister’s kids.
OP’s sister has four sons and a fifth baby on the way. Until having his own, OP always cared for his sister’s kids when she needed help.
“By way of background, throughout all of the years my sister had her children and I was not yet married I was always available to help her out with her kids. I picked them up from school and sitter more times than I can remember,” he wrote. “I came over to tutor them in math and help them with their school work. I babysat them at nights and on three separate occasions. I actually moved into her house for a few days at a shot. I even moved into their house once with my 6 month old son (he’s 2 now).”
OP contends that he hasn’t needed much help up until now.
“I used her netflix account for years and I would often come visit her house when I needed a place to relax. I put my son to sleep by her twice over the last year and she picked my son up from daycare once,” he explained. “I am not trying to be tit for tat but I just want to paint a picture about how this relationship has worked. We are very close.”
OP and his wife usually have other sitters they use.
OP and his wife, 27, have a 12-week-old daughter and an upcoming anniversary. He waited until the last minute to ask, and their regular babysitters weren’t available, so OP asked his sister, 35, to watch the baby from 6:45 p.m. to 11 p.m., even though the woman’s bedtime is 10 p.m.
She is pregnant with her fifth child. Also, OP assured Redditors that the baby is well-behaved, but there is no guarantee she’ll be asleep by 10.
OP’s sister agreed, but not for the whole night.
She is pregnant and likely exhausted, and although she said she’d take the baby, OP’s sister isn’t in it for the entire night.
“I ask her if I can leave my 12 week old daughter with her and she tells me in no uncertain terms (but very nicely) ‘I need my sleep so if you want to leave her here until 10:00 you can.’ I passive aggressively responded to her ‘most babies are born sleep trained and go to sleep at around 10:00 so you having a baby soon won’t pose any problem for you,'” OP explained.
OP’s sister said he was making her feel guilty, but he didn’t seem to care.
“I responded that given how much I had done for her over the years I was hurt that she couldn’t give up an extra hour and half of her sleep to help me out even though she is in her ninth month,” he continued.
So, who is the a–hole?
Redditors want to know why OP watched his nephews to begin with.
OP, were you stockpiling favors for the future, or did you help your sister to just to actually be helpful?
“YTA. 10:00 is plenty late for you to get to go out and have some alone time with your wife before picking up the baby. If you’re asking for a favor, you don’t get to dictate the terms. She didn’t do anything wrong and your text was rude,” one person wrote.
“I stopped reading when he revealed they had planned the night for 3 months but only just now asked for a babysitter. What an AH,” another person commented.
“That’s egregious enough. The fact OP had three months to come up with a plan for a babysitter and sprung this on her sister last minute and got p—ed off because of one accommodation her sister wanted her to adhere to is beyond entitlement. Shame on you, OP! YTA beyond belief!” someone else posted.
She is nine months pregnant.
Do we even have to point out that this woman is about to give birth and yet she is being made to feel guilty for not taking care of someone else’s child?
“YTA when you did all this for your sister were you 9 months pregnant with 4 kids to take care of?? Different situation. Your sister did say she would help out if you were back by 10pm — a compromise and you couldn’t bend a little. I think you owe her an apology,” one person suggested.
“YTA. She has 4 kids and is pregnant. And babies are not ‘born sleep trained.’ What madness is that!?!” someone pointed out.
“If she wasn’t pregnant and had nothing going on, I’d maybe understand his frustration. But, she’s 9 months pregnant,” another person chimed in. “I’ve never been pregnant but don’t you need as much sleep as possible at that point. Plus! What if she goes into labor on that day??”
Sorry OP, but you blew it.
Not one Redditor thinks that you were in the right. You knew you had an anniversary, and poor planning landed you in a pickle. That is no one’s problem but your own. No one owes you a thing, particularly not a woman ready to give birth any minute. Bless her.
One Redditor put it rather nicely: “The only person who gets to make last minute requests of her right now is her unborn child.”
Mic drop!