Being an introvert has its benefits, but sometimes it prevents us from building meaningful relationships. Our reader shared a heartbreaking story that we found particularly complicated. Kate is terminally ill and has never been in a relationship before. What’s more, her time is limited, and she thinks the only way she can experience what getting married is like is through our reader’s wedding.
Our reader sent us a message.
Thanks for reaching out to us! We came up with some tips that you might find helpful.
Find an alternative.
Perhaps you can plan a separate event where she can have her own ceremony, or a special moment before or after your wedding. This way, she can experience the sentiment without intervening in your ceremony.
You can also speak to the priest and try arranging something specifically for Kate. It can be a small party where she can walk down the aisle with her dad. It will actually be her own little ceremony and not someone else’s.
Talk to your parents.
Let your parents know about your concerns and emotions. Explain that even though you want to support your sister, you also have your own dreams for your wedding day. Try to seek their understanding and find a solution together. Perhaps your parents are so preoccupied with your sister’s state that they can’t really look at the situation from a different perspective.
Stand your ground.
It’s your day, and you deserve all the attention, it’s okay to not want to let your sister walk down the aisle. You can say something like, “I’m sorry that you have to go through this, but I can’t go against my wishes on such an important day for me.”
Explain that you’ll feel uncomfortable if she walks to the altar, where your future husband is waiting for you. Kate won’t be walking towards anything, so the walk doesn’t really mean anything. Your sister should focus on enjoying her single life in the time she still has.
Consider uninviting your parents and your sister.
You can also consider uninviting your sister and your parents. Obviously, they all insist, and it’s likely that they will try something anyway on your wedding day. Kate might turn up at the church wearing a wedding dress, or she might “accidentally” walk down the aisle before you. In any case, if you feel like they can actually pull off something like this, it’s better not to invite them in the first place.