Most people want to pop the question in an unusual way that their other half will remember for the rest of their life. It’s possible to go overboard with the preparation for such an important question. Our reader had to pay the whole rent because her boyfriend spent all of his money on the proposal. Now she’s seriously reconsidering her relationship.
We received a message from one of our readers.
Don’t rush into marriage.
Trust your gut feeling and prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Don’t feel pressured to get married to your boyfriend if you have doubts or concerns.
It’s important to focus on your own needs and feelings. It’s better to resolve existing issues before marriage. See if you’re really compatible and your approach to problem-solving is similar.
Discuss your financial situation.
Set clear boundaries and expectations regarding financial responsibilities in your relationship. Let him know that money matters such as paying the rent should be equal, regardless of who earns more. Talk about your financial expectations as a couple. Tell him how you envision managing finances, including rent, bills, and other expenses, especially considering the difference in your income.
Tell him about your concerns.
Sit down with your boyfriend and have an honest conversation about how his actions made you feel. Perhaps he doesn’t even realize that what he did hurt you. Discuss your feelings calmly and clearly, and let him know that you were hurt by his response to splitting the rent. If he dismisses your concerns, it may be a red flag that can cause issues in the future.
Give him some time.
If he’s actively looking for a better job, trying to find new ways to earn more money, give him some time. Tell him that it would be better to wait until his financial situation improves and you both feel stable. It’s okay to want to get married to a reliable person who makes you feel safe. You can also help him write out a plan that includes strategies for saving, budgeting, debt management, and investing.
Financial matters have the power to ruin romance in relationships. In this article, this is exactly what happened to our reader. Her date refused to pay for dry cleaning after he ruined her dress.